and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
