her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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