I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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