Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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