me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
