Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
