So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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