Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
