He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
