every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
