You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
