if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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