I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
