Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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