I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
