I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
