You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
