She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
