Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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