No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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