That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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