She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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