Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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