What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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