The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
