No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
