if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
