i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
