I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
