you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm both gender and math confused
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
