I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
