i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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