wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
