i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
