Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
