yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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