I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
