I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
