her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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