mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My vagina just clenched in fear
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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