It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
