After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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