The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
