ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
