At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
