driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Everyone says I win the strip club
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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