i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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