You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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