real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it glows. i had to have it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
