Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Your topless pictures make me question reality
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
