I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
