Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
