Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
